So as the title says; Friends forever! Sounds familiar? Well this word should be worn out from being uttered too many times. Since primary school, where all is young and innocent, we made promises to each other to stay friends forever! Nothing will break our friendship, and then it was high school where we met more people and still promised to remain friends forever. Then high school ended and people separate to either colleges or Form 6, hearts were heavy but life continues and still the promise stands where people come back over the weekends and gatherings were held. In the near future, people would get jobs, rushing to meet ends, finding that one person you love and want to spend the rest of your life with, and having children to continue the “family line”. So where does the promise stand? Can one hold to the promise for so long? Do we have time for old friends? To stay in touch or even more to maintain the friendship to begin with? Friends! What are friends? People who are there for you, who makes you laugh, lend a shoulder for you to cry on and be there to support you through thick or thin.
Well as for me, I do not have that much of luck in that area. It could be my personality that made me an object of misunderstanding. As I look back on my life, when it comes to friendship I have been going through a stormy sea or a rocky mountain. In primary school, I have already been misunderstood. There were many “I don’t friend you anymore” words uttered. I remembered going back home and crying to my mother about how I fought with my friends. Well that was primary school, whereas in high school…lol that was another horrible time. My primary school gang joined up with another school’s group therefore our big group consisted of almost 20 people. The group consists of so many diff façade of people. We are from diff classes but hang out during recess and weekends. In the whole, I am a shy person, I do not make good first impressions, and I do not make the first move. I got misunderstood! It got worse when I had an argument with my “best friend” and she went around the group bad mouthing me. It was hell for me for I was alienated. I was bad mouthed and those who were not so close to me avoided me and exclude me of group outings. It hurt so badly. But thank the lord I manage to pull myself through and now that I have graduated from high school and am studying in college I thought to myself hey a new environment!
It turns out that trouble took up a liking to me and is following me everywhere I go. College was great and fun in the beginning, everyone were friendly to everyone. People were curious and friendly but as the semester changes so do the people. Groups began to form and people move into them. Some familiar faces don’t seem so familiar anymore. Different people were alienated. Out- spoken, opinionated people were hated. And now it is so obvious in college, for there is this dominant group of people, who moves in groups and dominate or self vote themselves into ranks in clubs. I know some of them and some of them dislike me due to…MISUNDERSTANDINGS but the impressions have been made and won’t be changed. One influencing the other, now I am just this acquaintance to them and I’m not in the “gang”. All this is also due to misunderstandings. Joy! Well thinking I still have my Public Relations classmates, I thought wrong! We had to get into groups of three or four and me and Sneha found ourselves without a group. People kept giving excuses or reasons. I would not know if my paranoid self is acting up again or it is for real that they would not want to group with us I am not sure but it hurts to think so. What have I done? Seriously all my life what have I done to cause all this?!! I was facing depression for a few days, was feeling so down. Do not know where I belong…
Since primary school I have always consoled myself by thinking hey maybe high school would be different for I will be meeting more people, starting anew. Apparently I thought wrong, then again I tried by thinking college would be different, I’m totally meeting different people, I will straighten my life back and get it in order…I thought wrong too and now I find myself thinking degree would be different or so I hope… Is it me? Am I just cursed to have horrible friendships? Truth be told, I don’t think of myself as a horrible person. I mean no one is perfect but I would think that my personality is good natured, I am there for my friends when they need help, in summary a good person so why do I suffer all this? Is it because I have a weak and vulnerable personality where people would take advantage of and walk all over me? I really do not know….All I can do right now is go on with my life doing what I think is right and count on my true friends to be there, my family and God himself.
No comments:
Post a Comment